The recovery path

The solution

SA describes the solution as more than behavior control. It is a new way of life grounded in surrender, honesty, fellowship, and spiritual transformation.

We saw that our problem was three-fold: physical, emotional, and spiritual. Healing had to come about in all three.

The crucial change in attitude began when we admitted we were powerless, that our habit had us whipped. We came to meetings and withdrew from our habit. For some, this meant no sex with themselves or others. For others, it meant drying out from lust-driven behavior so recovery could begin.

We discovered that we could stop, that not feeding the hunger did not kill us, and that sex was indeed optional. There was hope for freedom, and we began to feel alive.

Encouraged to continue, we turned more and more away from our isolating obsession with sex and self and turned to God and others. Each new step of surrender felt like stepping off the edge, but surrender was killing the obsession rather than ourselves.

The fellowship gave us monitoring and support to keep us from being overwhelmed, a safe haven where we could finally face ourselves. Instead of covering our feelings with compulsive sex, we began exposing the roots of our emptiness and hunger.

As we faced our defects, we became willing to change. Forgiving all who had injured us, and without injuring others, we tried to right our own wrongs. More of the dreadful load of guilt dropped from our shoulders, until we could lift our heads and stand free.

We began practicing a positive sobriety, taking the actions of love to improve our relationships. We were learning how to give. We were finding what none of the substitutes had ever supplied. We were making the real Connection. We were home.